The Pianist 2002
Yellow Face Top Movie Reviews Rating: Avoid at all costs. If someone near you begins to watch it, leave if possible. If leaving is impossible: destroy television.

Director: Roman Polanski
Screenplay: Wladyslaw Szpilman, Ronald Harwood
Starring: Adrien Brody, Thomas Kretschmann

I saw this movie 5 years ago and I still regret giving up those three hours. Call me uncultured, unsympathetic whatever you like, but this movie bored the poop out of me.

Although most of the memories have faded, I still recall the main driving force of the movie. I’m oppressed, I play the piano …repeat as necessary. This movie won 3 Oscars, and for the most part I hate movies that win Oscars. SO I would like to thank the Academy for keeping the ‘hate streak.’

The main highlight of this movie for me was when I was awoken from my slumber by pizza boy knocking on my door. It was a great pizza. My advice to you: unless you thrive on films where the tag line is something along the lines of ‘Music was his passion. Survival was his masterpiece’ and enjoy an abundant amount of granola I suggest you skip over the pianist .

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Taxi Driver 1976
Yellow Face Top Movie Reviews Rating: Add it to your movie collection right f@#king now.

Director: Maritin Scorsese
Screenplay: Paul Shrader
Starring: Robert Deniro, Cybill Shepard, Peter Boyle, Jodie Foster, Harvey Keitel.

Before you watch this movie you have to do one simple thing: go without sleep for about 5 days. Hope fully at this point you will be in the same mind frame of Robert Deniro’s character, Travis.

The basic one sentence plot outline of this movie is that it is about a Vietnam vet that slowly starts to feel detached from society. He sees everything as corrupt and dirty, and eventually he can’t take it anymore and violently lashes out.

But it is so much more than that.

I would say it is more like an experience. The character Travis goes ahead and does the things that we all wish we could do sometimes: Lash out violently at society without any thought of the consequences. The writer Paul Shrader kept a loaded gun in his desk while writing this movie a motivational piece.

For those of you that are familiar with the now cliched “Are you talkin’ to me” line, it came from this movie. Another great thing that came from this movie- the exploding hand.

If you haven’t seen this movie then you should be shot in the head: Scorsese style. Seriously, it’s “time to get organezized” and see this movie…stop making me angry, go watch it

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Girl Interrupted 1999
Yellow Face Top Movie Reviews Rating: Watch it when it’s on TV and nothing else is on.

Director: James Mangold
Screenplay: James Mangold, Lisa Loomer and Anna Hamilton Phelan
Starring: Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie, Clea DuVall, Brittany Murphy, Whoopi Goldberg, Jared Leto

Girl Interrupted was based on Susanna Kaysen’s book written about her experiences in a mental hospital in the 1960’s. Crazy people have always been a great source of inspiration and humour, so I believe the book practically wrote itself, and of course by that rational, the movie should have watched itself.

It’s been a while since I have seen the film, so only a few details really stick out in my mind.

1. The girl that kept the chicken carcasses under her bed.
2. Angelina and Winona belted out a horrid rendition of the Petula Clark tune: Downtown.

I probably would have enjoyed the song if it were sung by insane people, not just by people acting crazy. Of course it would have been better if Angelina were naked. Nudity seems to make things much more enjoyable. Of course if you wanted to see Angelina naked you could just watch Gia. If your goal is to see Angelina naked maybe you should save yourself some time and skip both this movie, and Gia and just head to Google Images and do a search for “Angelina Jolie nude”

Angelina Jolie won an Academy Award for Actress in a Supporting Role for this movie. I am quite surprised at this considering she didn’t win an award for her role in Hackers, which in my opinion was basically the same character.

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